Wednesday, June 16, 2010

My Prepared Food Dilema



Main Entry: Guilt Vinaigrette
Pronunciation: \ˈgilt\ \ˌvi-ni-ˈgret\
Function: noun
Etymology: Upper East Side English 2010
A dressing one makes to prove to oneself that he/she is still able to cook.
Cindee made a delicious guilt vinaigrette the other night.

I've been bad. Bordering on shameful. With the exception of a cutting up a cantaloupe, broiling a steak, and Monday night's whisking of balsamic vinegar and olive oil, I have not cooked regularly in a very long time.

I have some good excuses. Teeth and life. Those things sometimes prevent you from cooking. Or wanting to cook. Both are fine, but have led AnonyMouse and I to living the life of a carefree bachelor and bachelorette ca. 1966.

Which now leads to the confession: we have been living on food prepared by various and sundry prepared food establishments for a few months.

PHEW! That didn't feel great. But it's out there. It's been necessary and it's temporary, but just doesn't make up for the missed cooking opportunities and the extra cash we've dropped.

The upside of this situation is the almost bottomless supply of comedy gold. I'm writing and performing about it. And to quote the great and powerful Ina: "How bad can that be?"

Seven (Great) Excuses To Buy Prepared Food:

It's Monday. You had a great weekend, why ruin the good weekend feeling?
It's Tuesday. You had a busy day, and the bus just happens to stop in front of Eli's.
It's Wednesday. Top Chef D.C. premiere!
It's Thursday. You have plans after work. You don't have to go home and cook!
It's Friday. Loooong week. Order in.
It's Saturday. You've got a show.
It's Sunday. You really need to relax.

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