SUCCESS!

Last Monday afternoon I had a vision. It involved roasted butternut squash, and it was powerful.

I was really down on myself for not making a perfect meal with a new ingredient. I needed to undo the damage from last Sunday's Tof-ail.

My vision led me to the dangerous and bank account draining Eli's, where deep orange colored redemption was on the very top of the squash pile. I was so consumed with produce, that I didn't even ogle the cheese section. A first!

AnonyMouse was out and about, but I was not alone. My temporary companions*: a squash, shallots, and some almost dangerously overripe bananas were about to go on a journey. A banana bread was in the oven by the time a freshly shorn AM got home. He knew how bad I felt about the previous night, and I really wanted to knock his socks off.

Banana bread...done. Squash and shallots...roasting. AnonyMouse was now under the impression that we were having roasted squash and banana bread for dinner. I let him think that. (I'm now imagining a restaurant that serves dessert with dinner)

The final outcome was a bowl of bliss: whole wheat penne tossed with goat cheese, roasted shallots, and butternut squash.

Success tastes pretty darn delicious!

Three Successful Culinary Experiments Paired With Three Very Bad Culinary Experiments

Molded chocolate cup filled with peanut butter vs Molded loaf filled with jellied chicken**

Meat tucked between two slices of bread vs Pasta tucked into a bread bowl

The Unbearable Sadness of Vegetables vs Rabbage

*Just a note...Rachael Ray's practice of referring to foods as "guys" makes me grind my teeth. I in no way endorse this.

**Many thanks to Kris @ Cheap Healthy Good for directing me to this treasure trove.

Tofu Is a Four Letter Word

If "You are what you eat!" is true, then I am the human equivalent of a cocktail party. I love wine and fun party food almost as much as I love AnonyMouse and my parents.

But...at some point one must put down the pig in a blanket and step away from the table. Pair this with a recent revelation about not being able to age in reverse, and, well, you know where this this is going.

Tofu. I decided that tofu would change my life. Tofu would open up new possibilities. Tofu would be a delightful and healthy addition to my culinary world. Tofu, I learned tonight, would also taste like a teriyaki, ginger, and garlic flavored matzoh ball. That was a very life changing moment.

In my dinner visualization I saw a plate that had a perfectly sautéed grouping of tofu, red pepper, snow peas and scallions.

Instead of delight and perfection, that extra-firm block of soybean curd was the inspiration for curse word combinations that didn't exist until I uttered them.

I will try again. I'm not giving up on it. I'm ready to make these changes and the outcome will be very good.I just need to be realistic about what I visualize as looking good vs what it will actually taste like.

Oh, did I mention the quinoa on the side? No I didn't. Because the only words that come to mind to describe my feelings about quinoa are unprintable.


Four Printable Words To Describe My Feelings About Tofu:

1. Tepid
2. Offensive
3. Foul
4. Underwhelming