Little Kitchen Mouse

Break On Through

2010-10-23T10:59:00.005-04:00

I'm trying to collect my thoughts and write something articulate, eloquent, and funny.
The only words that keep flashing through my mind are, in no particular order:

Happy
Excited
Yes!

In case you're wondering how my brain works, happy is all pink and sparkly, excited is like a lit-up marquee sign, and yes is cartoonish. I'm visual. I can't help it.

I had one of those moments on stage the other night that electrified me. I didn't realize it until after I got off stage, and I have not let it go.

I rock. Period.

This is not a new age-y, self-help kind of realization. It's an I'm in the right place at the right time kind of realization.

The last time I had this feeling, I made a decision that completely transformed my life: I called off my wedding. Yep! I did.

Ok. Let's all just relax. I'm not breaking up with AnonyMouse.

I'm merely sharing this tidbit to illustrate that this moment was a BFD. This doesn't happen that often. But when it does, you see pink sparkles and lit-up marquee signs, and you need to take it very seriously.

Of course you need to enjoy the moment, or mourn the moment first. Then, you settle back down to reality, and it becomes a part of you. I'm aware that these important moments are not a cure-all. I have a lot of hard work to do. I'll have bad shows, I'll make some really bad meals. I'm just not going to allow those moments to weigh me down. I'm ready for hard work and happy and excited and yes!

Now that I've collected my thoughts, I'm going to make one small change to my earlier statement:

I rock! Exclamation point!

They Blinded me with Silence

2010-07-03T09:35:00.006-04:00

I had a bad show the other night. It shook me up a little, but it was a great experience. I'd been waiting for it to happen, and I'm glad it did. In the big picture, nobody got hurt and I did get some laughs.

As bummed as I was, I had a very well-timed shot of inspiration yesterday afternoon. I had a birthday movie/late lunch date with my friend Leigh.(a very happy again!) We saw Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work followed by a dizzying array of bread and cheeses at 'ino.(Truffled egg toast and bruschetta with fresh fruit and marscapone)

Joan Rivers is unbelievable. She is one of the funniest people on the planet. At 75, she does more in an hour than I do in a day. She has inspired me write and perform as often as I can. Just do yourself a favor and see this movie.

I'm new to this comedy thing. It's a process. I learned the other night that pushing myself to do new material is good, but next time I'll do my best 6 minutes. I'm going to try to channel Joan Rivers' energy at my next show.

Silence, you have been warned. In the end, laughter will win.

Happy One Year!

2010-06-20T20:05:00.003-04:00

One year ago I started LKM. It has been a very interesting and wonderful year.

My Prepared Food Dilema

2010-06-16T20:56:00.000-04:00

Main Entry: Guilt Vinaigrette
Pronunciation: \ˈgilt\ \ˌvi-ni-ˈgret\
Function: noun
Etymology: Upper East Side English 2010
A dressing one makes to prove to oneself that he/she is still able to cook.
Cindee made a delicious guilt vinaigrette the other night.

I've been bad. Bordering on shameful. With the exception of a cutting up a cantaloupe, broiling a steak, and Monday night's whisking of balsamic vinegar and olive oil, I have not cooked regularly in a very long time.

I have some good excuses. Teeth and life. Those things sometimes prevent you from cooking. Or wanting to cook. Both are fine, but have led AnonyMouse and I to living the life of a carefree bachelor and bachelorette ca. 1966.

Which now leads to the confession: we have been living on food prepared by various and sundry prepared food establishments for a few months.

PHEW! That didn't feel great. But it's out there. It's been necessary and it's temporary, but just doesn't make up for the missed cooking opportunities and the extra cash we've dropped.

The upside of this situation is the almost bottomless supply of comedy gold. I'm writing and performing about it. And to quote the great and powerful Ina: "How bad can that be?"

Seven (Great) Excuses To Buy Prepared Food:

It's Monday. You had a great weekend, why ruin the good weekend feeling?
It's Tuesday. You had a busy day, and the bus just happens to stop in front of Eli's.
It's Wednesday. Top Chef D.C. premiere!
It's Thursday. You have plans after work. You don't have to go home and cook!
It's Friday. Loooong week. Order in.
It's Saturday. You've got a show.
It's Sunday. You really need to relax.

Taking A Comedy Break

2010-05-08T09:13:00.003-04:00

This past Thursday, I stepped up to the mic. After an eight year hiatus from Stand Up, I decided it was time to be funny out loud again. A lot happens in eight years. New relationships blossom or fade away, priorities shift, you develop a completely irrational hatred of Al Roker. All add up to one thing: get out there and talk about it!

The biggest motivator is my confidence. I have this crazy new outlook where I believe I have something to say, and people will laugh when I say it. OK, maybe it's not crazy, but it's new and wonderful. I also have this great support system in place. AnonyMouse and some good friends are there to laugh and give me honest feedback.

Thursday was pretty awesome for me. 3.5 mins may not seem like a long time, but believe me, it was just long enough to know that I should be doing it.

Who knows what it will lead to? I can only think good will come out of it. No one has ever said that wanting to make people laugh is a bad thing.

How Bad Can That Be?

2010-03-13T14:25:00.003-05:00

Welcome to a very poignant and personal Little Kitchen Mouse.
I have been openly obsessed with Ina Garten and Jennifer Aniston for many years. Jen was always the coolest and Ina always the classiest. But lately I've been having my doubts. The truth is... The Contessiston has just lost its luster.

It started about a year ago. Ina's new and quite boring show Back To Basics had just debuted and Jen was involved in a very public and disturbing romance with John Mayer.

I saw the red flags,and ignored them. I went against every instinct I had, squashed down my uncomfortable feelings, and remained loyal.

You know what happens when you ignore the red flags and the bad feelings? A very disillusioned Cindee happens.

AnonyMouse warned me. He tried to be playful, but honesty can be brutal. We were watching a particularly decadent episode of The Contessa. AM bluntly commented that what she was joyfully cooking for her beloved Jeffrey looked a like "a saucepan full of death". Ignorance may be bliss, but feeding your loved one that much butter is just irresponsible.
Meanwhile, Jen was making the rounds on the Late Night talk shows celebrating herself. We were watching a particularly painful interview with either Leno or Letterman, when the subject and a copy of THAT GQ came up. She looked mortified. Her golden glow actually faded on national TV.

I was officially done. Their passive-aggressive behavior was now very apparent. A very sad feeling. Much like the feeling I had when I realized I couldn't eat McDonald's with abandon anymore.

How bad can that be? Disappointment, for lack of a better word, sucks. I now have to re-examine who I admire, which isn't such a bad thing. In the big picture, it's a very good thing.

And no, this does not mean I'll go all Martha Stewart and Sandra Bullock on you. I'll have a new set of obsessions soon, and all will be right with the world once again.

Three Obsessions I'm Still Proud To Own Up To

1. Split Enz
2. Cheese
3. Weather

All By Myself

2010-03-06T14:24:00.002-05:00

I don't like eating alone.
Not because it makes me feel lonely, but because it makes me combine things that should not be combined in one meal.

Some people look at the lone meal as a gourmet production. They set the table, they pick a nice wine. It's lovely.

My lone meals are highly suspect, low in healthy content, and are never spoken of again.

My go-to lone meal used to be a salad. Don't be fooled by this. A simple bowl of greens can be rendered unrecognizable with the right amounts of pasta, cheese, and dressing.
Is there a possibility that a menu involving Wonder Bread, baloney, and Fritos was planned? Maybe.

I don't usually decide on how processed the meal is going to be until the last minute. A few factors come into play: weather, day of the week, and TV schedule.I also find that I talk to myself a lot while composing these meals. It's usually mindless chit-chat, but there was one time when I had to defend myself to myself over my choice of Elio's Pizza and Hostess Cupcakes.

My recent flirtation with healthy food may change the footloose and fancy free quality of my next lone meal, but that's a conversation I will save for myself.

Five Lone Meals I May Or May Not Have Eaten

1. Underwood deviled ham on D'taliano white bread
2. Elbows with a jar of tomato sauce
3. Cheese, a spoonful of peanut butter, and a blondie
4. Herring in cream sauce
5. Cold lasagne

SUCCESS!

2010-02-27T15:25:00.008-05:00

Last Monday afternoon I had a vision. It involved roasted butternut squash, and it was powerful.

I was really down on myself for not making a perfect meal with a new ingredient. I needed to undo the damage from last Sunday's Tof-ail.

My vision led me to the dangerous and bank account draining Eli's, where deep orange colored redemption was on the very top of the squash pile. I was so consumed with produce, that I didn't even ogle the cheese section. A first!

AnonyMouse was out and about, but I was not alone. My temporary companions*: a squash, shallots, and some almost dangerously overripe bananas were about to go on a journey. A banana bread was in the oven by the time a freshly shorn AM got home. He knew how bad I felt about the previous night, and I really wanted to knock his socks off.

Banana bread...done. Squash and shallots...roasting. AnonyMouse was now under the impression that we were having roasted squash and banana bread for dinner. I let him think that. (I'm now imagining a restaurant that serves dessert with dinner)

The final outcome was a bowl of bliss: whole wheat penne tossed with goat cheese, roasted shallots, and butternut squash.

Success tastes pretty darn delicious!

Three Successful Culinary Experiments Paired With Three Very Bad Culinary Experiments

Molded chocolate cup filled with peanut butter vs Molded loaf filled with jellied chicken**

Meat tucked between two slices of bread vs Pasta tucked into a bread bowl

The Unbearable Sadness of Vegetables vs Rabbage

*Just a note...Rachael Ray's practice of referring to foods as "guys" makes me grind my teeth. I in no way endorse this.

**Many thanks to Kris @ Cheap Healthy Good for directing me to this treasure trove.

Tofu Is a Four Letter Word

2010-02-21T20:58:00.003-05:00

If "You are what you eat!" is true, then I am the human equivalent of a cocktail party. I love wine and fun party food almost as much as I love AnonyMouse and my parents.

But...at some point one must put down the pig in a blanket and step away from the table. Pair this with a recent revelation about not being able to age in reverse, and, well, you know where this this is going.

Tofu. I decided that tofu would change my life. Tofu would open up new possibilities. Tofu would be a delightful and healthy addition to my culinary world. Tofu, I learned tonight, would also taste like a teriyaki, ginger, and garlic flavored matzoh ball. That was a very life changing moment.

In my dinner visualization I saw a plate that had a perfectly sautéed grouping of tofu, red pepper, snow peas and scallions.

Instead of delight and perfection, that extra-firm block of soybean curd was the inspiration for curse word combinations that didn't exist until I uttered them.

I will try again. I'm not giving up on it. I'm ready to make these changes and the outcome will be very good.I just need to be realistic about what I visualize as looking good vs what it will actually taste like.

Oh, did I mention the quinoa on the side? No I didn't. Because the only words that come to mind to describe my feelings about quinoa are unprintable.

Four Printable Words To Describe My Feelings About Tofu:

1. Tepid
2. Offensive
3. Foul
4. Underwhelming

Wake and Bake 2009

2009-12-26T11:59:00.004-05:00

Last Sunday I decided that I was going to bake on Monday. Yes I did. I decided this as I strolled through the Baking Needs aisle at C-Town. I sneered at the boxes of mixes and deliberately and loudly in my head said: I AM GOING TO BAKE! TOMORROW!

I placed my baking needs in that shopping cart with a degree of confidence that's usually reserved for Olympians. I swaggered home with twenty pounds of ingredients and set them on the counter. No. I DISPLAYED my ingredients on the counter. Much like one would proudly display an Oscar. If I could, I would have back lit them.

AnonyMouse woke from his slumber, walked into the kitchen, took one look at the bounty in front of him and said: "That's a lot of sugar."

"Yes! It is!" I roared. "I am going to bake! Tomorrow!"
He said: "Cool." And then went to take a nap.

He needed one. Taking in that much sugar, flour and baking powder was overwhelming for a mere non-baking mortal.

I was heady with baking thoughts all day. I had a pantry of dry goods waiting to be sifted and mixed! I consulted my library of cookbooks, I went online to seek out the most worthy recipe. I noticed that not one recipe had baking powder as an ingredient, but it didn't matter. I would be baking in 24 hours!

Well, at some point the lights fade. The accolades die down, and the reality sets in that there is absolutely no need for baking powder. I needed baking soda. This realization knocked the wind out of me. My display of ingredients didn't look so award winning anymore. That yellow and red tin of Davis Baking Powder sat on the counter mocking me. Double Acting! Yeah, it was acting alright! Acting like I knew what I was doing! I became a tiny bit despondent.

I slept badly on Sunday night. Terrifying images of bleached four choking me with dust...Betty Crocker laughing maniacally...and the most disturbing image of a disembodied arm and hammer...WHOA.

I woke up on Monday morning, put on my boots and coat, flew out the door and headed back to C-Town. No coffee. I had needs of a baking variety to attend to. Coffee was not an option.

The next few hours were a blur. I sifted-through a colander-I forgot to take the butter out, I used peanut butter AND chocolate chips! AnonyMouse awoke to Nat King Cole singing Christmas music and me covered in flour. He cracked up. Then turned serious when he saw what I had done. The display that had previously mocked me was now a pile of baked goodness.

I brought my little morsels of happy to a holiday party that night. My friend told me as I was leaving that everyone loved my cookies.

Some decisions are worth the wait.

Three Great Baking Achievements Paired With Three Great Baked Goods:

Pastry cook becomes a respected profession in 300 B.C. and Janice's Apricot squares

The Easy-Bake Oven was introduced in 1963 by Kenner Products and Eli's Onion rolls

Adding lit candles to the top of a birthday cake originates in 18th century Germany and fresh croissants

Come along for the ride!

2009-11-14T12:28:00.005-05:00

Maybe it's the approaching end of the decade, the end of the year, the possible end of an era work-wise...I'm just feeling good about it all. Yes. I'm talking about endings. Endings, to me, can be a real positive.

Most obviously, the look of this very blog came to an end. Every time I came to the page it felt like I was wearing a scratchy sweater or had damp socks on. It didn't feel right. I hope you like it. I do.

When AnonyMouse and I moved last May, it was the perfect ending to our former living situations. We now have a home.

Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise. Hilarious. The. End.

Change always makes me feel kinda funky. I just try to remember that fun is a big part of that word.

Three Great Endings Paired With Three Great Beginnings

Janice's Chocolate Roll and The opening guitar riff of Pretty Persuasion

Series Finale of Six Feet Under and The theme song to Ally McBeal

Coffee and Coffee

A Buffet To Remember

2009-10-24T13:05:00.000-04:00

Most weddings follow the formula: drink, dinner, dance. Repeat.
The Bride? Beautiful. The Groom? Adorable. The Food? Edible.
But last night's affair was different.

Need to know where the The Knights of Columbus or White Plains Elks Lodges are? I'm your go-to girl.
Like getting dressed up and walking over a major highway on a wood plank bridge? Look no further...

Let's just say that AnonyMouse and I got to know North White Plains, NY REALLY well.
Did I mention that the wedding was in White Plains? NOT North White Plains?

After a teeny breakdown on the very blustery North Broadway, the magic of Anonymouse's blackberry and a lovely cab driver who found our adventure very funny... we did end up in White Plains at the reception.

The Bride and Groom? Beautiful. Excited. Happy. Our table was a perfect mix of present and former co workers,and boyfriends and spouses. And the food? Fantastic.

A cocktail hour that has offerings of smoked fish, chopped liver, and fried cheese can only be described as brilliant. What followed was dancing, steak, more dancing, champagne, key lime mousse cake, and yes, Donna Summer was the last dance.

Precarious walk in heels + steak + love = a very good night

Three Great Married Couples Paired With Three Really Bad Wedding Entree Ideas:

My parents and Mutton
Mo and Stanny! and Broth
John and Abigail Adams and Tripe

Meatcake! And Leftovers

2009-09-12T11:41:00.000-04:00

Main Entry: left·over
Pronunciation: \ˈleft-ˌō-vər\
Function: noun
Date: 1891
1 : something that remains unused or unconsumed; especially : leftover food served at a later meal —usually used in plural

What I see:

I get defensive when confronted with food that has been in the refrigerator for more than a day. It always makes me feel like I somehow failed in preparing it right the first time.

Cold Chinese or cold Italian are exempt. They are perfect at any temperature.
Chili needs a day to rest and relax. Orzo salad is great for lunch the next day.

I'm talking about that ball of foil from last night's dinner. It's cold. It has developed a gelatinous, alien-like coating. It's unapproachable.

I had a situation earlier this week when I made our favorite gingered pork loin. It's kind of a blur, but I had two loins. AnonyMouse used the word LEFTOVERS, and there I was wrapping one up in foil to be placed in the refrigerator. I didn't feel good about it.

COLDPORKLOINCOLDPORKLOIN echoed through my head all the next day. It was awful. I wanted to create something new with it so it didn't resemble the previous dinner in any way. You know, trick myself into thinking it was a brand new meal.

In the end I realized: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. I had to let go.

I did. Some things just deserve a second chance.
And Meatcake is still the funniest word in the english language.

Three Favorite Words Paired With Three Delicious Cold Meals

Cozy and dumplings
Cake and the other half of an eggplant parmigiana hero
Home and a big plate of meats and cheeses

Please Bear With Me

2009-09-05T15:00:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you're at a kick-ass, Friday night rooftop BBQ and you find yourself eating bear while listening to an in-depth play by play of how that bear came to be in the shape of a sausage. Yes. Sometimes that does happen.

In some circles, bear is a perfectly acceptable hors d'oeuvres. Discussion of how that bear was captured and prepared is required. Since I don't roll with a hunting crowd, you could say that I was horrified and intrigued by the prospect of eating...BooBoo. So it's no surprise to say that that slice of Yogi was one of the most bizarre and unpleasant tastes I've ever experienced. The display of grace while spitting into a napkin was a thing of beauty. I've never moved that fast in my life.

We've all met that person whose favorite mode of conversing is via monologue. I happen to be a good listener, so it's usually interesting for a while. I prefer give and take in a conversation, but sometimes you're held hostage by someone who brings bear to a party, and will not take no for an answer.

Cooking has an element of self-indulgence that could potentially lead to a one way conversation. I'm definitely someone who aims to please when foisting food upon friends and loved ones. I would hope that somewhere in the back of everyone's cooking mind is the teeniest glimmer of the people being served.

Sorry, BooBoo.

Since AnonyMouse and I are going to the US Open tomorrow, I share with you:

Three Game Meats I Will Never Try Paired With Three Great Games:

Kangaroo and Nadal v Federer Men's Wimbledon 2008 Final
Goat and Giants-Patriots Super Bowl 2008
Ostrich and Balderdash

Vacation!

2009-08-21T17:59:00.001-04:00

Vacation food has a special set of rules and regulations and requirements. Depending on how you were raised, you were:
A. Allowed to eat with abandon at every meal..."We're on vacation! Of course you can have a hot fudge sundae after breakfast! "
B. Allowed a special treat..."We have a lot to see, you may have a hot fudge sundae on the last night. Now stop hitting your sister."
Or
C. Completely disinterested because your family took vacations involving something athletic..."After we hit these rapids,trail mix break!"

My adult vacations are a mix of A & B. The C usually involves a brisk walk to find food.

AnonyMouse and I just spent a perfectly glorious week at the Jersey Shore followed by a road trip through the mountains of Western PA. I love car trips. I love planning the route, driving on backroads, and rest stops. Rest stops are my A. When I see REST AREA 1/2 MILE I forget that the words healthy, guilt, and salad exist. Fortunately, the stops are brief, and not much damage is done.

This vacation in particular had an unprecedented mix of food highs and lows. The lows are not what you really want to remember. But when a meal is that bad, you savor it. A bad meal today = a good story tomorrow.

The highs, however, are what really matter. Steamers, clams, and tuna on the grill. Dark and Stormy's overlooking the bay. Ice cream cones at midnight by the ocean.

A little abandon, a little restraint...now that's the perfect vacation.

Three Dream Vacation Meals Paired With Three Actual Vacation Meals
Tasting menu at the French Laundry in Napa and Wings and beer at Nardi's Jersey
Bellinis and carpaccio at Harry's Bar in Venice and A short stack at IHOP Unionville, PA
Pan Con Tomate in Barcelona and Spinach artichoke dip with tortilla chips at Summit Inn Farmington, PA

Sundays

2009-08-02T13:58:00.000-04:00

Sunday wins the award for best day of the week. In the fall and winter it means cooking. In the spring and summer it means cooking.
Many people like to read or exercise on Sundays. Running seems to be the most popular. I don't run. Ever.
Well, actually... I do run on Sundays. I run errands. The errand running usually involves food shopping, which brings me back to cooking on Sundays.
Sunday seems to get a bad rap for just being the day before Monday. Weekend is over. Work starts to creep in to the relaxation. I don't think that's fair. Cooking on Sunday is energizing, thoughtful, and creative. When was the last time you were any of those things on a Monday?

I'm not the girl who whips up a sauce or stew for the week. That would be wise and frugal. I don't have that kind of brain. My brain likes the instant gratification of planning, shopping, cooking, and eating all in one day. Today alone, I have already done three out of these four. At one point AnonyMouse looked up from his prone position on the couch and commented that he hasn't seen me have this much fun cooking in quite a while. I'm happy, he's happy. He's happy because he will be the recipient of much culinary goodness in a few hours.

I'm very happy being right where I want to be. In the kitchen, making Sunday magic.

Three Sunday Dinners Paired With Three Great Sunday Night Shows

Roasted chicken with potatoes and True Blood
Eggplant parmigiana and Iron Chef America
Ginger Pork Loin and Family Guy

Ladies' Lunch

2009-07-24T12:26:00.000-04:00

I'm not well-versed in mid-day menu planning. I know nothing of luncheons. Luncheons conjure thoughts of coiffed, pants-suited women picking at sharp pieces of lettuce. Lunch involves a salad, a desk, and quality Facebook time.

Brunch is another story. There are designated foods that are served at brunch. Brunch is easy. (And one of my favorite words!)

I do, however, have delightful Barefoot Contessa-esque daydreams about having girlfriends over for lunch. We eat delicious sandwiches, on soft bread, filled with meats and cheeses. There is a light side dish of pasta salad or a roasted vegetable. Prosecco cocktails flow, and there is always a decadent chocolazzzzzzzzzzzzz...
and this will never happen in my lifetime.

Why lunch? Well, I had my friend Michele and her sweet seven month old over on a Saturday mid-day, and it threw me. I was possessed, POSSESSED I tell you! by the idea that I had to serve lunch. I did exhaustive research. I was now convinced the the the culinary gods would strike me down for not having an arsenal of tea sandwich fillings at the ready. This was full-fledged LUNCH PANIC. Then I factored the baby into the mix. OHMYGOD THE BABY WILL STARVE IF I DO NOT PROVIDE FOOD FOR HIM. It was then I realized that unless I was a wet Nurse, Michele will provide nourishment for her own child.
I began to talk myself down. We are not formal people. This is hang out time with my friend and her kid.

I woke up on Saturday morning and took myself over to the Most Dangerous Place In Manhattan, aka The Vinegar Factory. I bought us a pasta salad that I doctored up, a small sandwich that we split, and for dessert, we had some yogurt covered pretzels.

She came bearing a bottle of Sancerre* and a seven month old. That beats a salad and Facebook any day.

*Sancerre was not opened.

My Five Favorite Sandwiches Paired With Five Great Ladies

Grilled cheese and My mom
Tuna on whole wheat and Julia Child
Second Ave Deli corned beef on rye with mustard and Amy Sedaris
Leftover Thanksgiving Turkey on White and Meryl Streep
Fresh mozzarella and tomato on semolina bread and Lily Tomlin

Ahh...edits happen

Don't Be Afraid Of The Uni

2009-07-12T14:05:00.000-04:00

I get twitchy watching loved ones enjoy a meal that still has eyes. You will never hear me say: "Let's go for tripe!" or "Are you kidding me?! I LOVE brains!"

Hi. My name is Cindee, and I have a fear of the culinary unknown.

My rule of thumb for foods I will never try is: Never eat anything that scared me as a child. Bugs, whole heads of animals, and frogs are at the top of that list. Being jewish also predisposes me to being very afraid of most foods. Herring, chopped liver, and tongue being exempt. Those are holy foods required on Sundays and Yom Kippur.

We did not have adventurous food growing up. We had great,delicious,comforting food. I did not branch out to the forbidden, exotic foods until I moved to NYC. Telling my parents that I loved sushi was a weighted, serious discussion.

Which brings me to the Uni. Oh uni. Uni is the one food (Fish? Food?) that makes me anxious. I have never tried it. It's not pretty (see photo above). It doesn't even look edible, but AnonyMouse has shed tears of happiness after eating it.

So this is going to be the summer of Uni. No. Wait... Before the end of 2009 I am going to try Uni. It will be a big deal. I will post a status update on Facebook. I may even call my parents afterwards to tell them I am ok. It will be glorious. AnonyMouse and I will weep together as we liberate my palate.

I will not be having a staring contest with a deep fried shrimp head anytime soon, but I will be more than happy to sit with you.

Three Foods I Will Try Paired With My Top Three Scariest Movies

Something Curried and The Shining
Squab and The Ring
Lentil Soup and The Exorcist

Simple Things

2009-07-09T20:32:00.000-04:00

"I think I'm going to start drinking beer. I see people having a beer with a sandwich, and it just looks so refreshing!"

-Dorothy Toobert, Age 87

That is a verbatim quote from my Bubie,(Jewish grandmother,for the goyim) Dorothy Toobert. She's no longer with us, but her delightful life commentary is.

AnonyMouse and I were having a picnic dinner on our roof the other night, when this particular quote popped into my head. I have no idea why, but apparently the combination of the breeze, the view, and the pasta salad reminded me of Bubie.

While she was a complex woman, her cooking was extremely simple and delicious. She mastered her basics and nobody tired of them. Chocolate mousse, matzoh bowling balls, and chicken soup were Dorothy's greatest hits.

I also have the simple cooking sensibility. This is never to be confused with a Semi-Homemade sensibility. I did not grow up that way, and I feel for anyone who reaches for a jar of chopped garlic. I just enjoy cooking with less than 30 ingredients and chopping my own garlic.

It's fun to build on my repertoire of basics using the foods I loved as a template. Living with an adventurous eater helps. AnonyMouse has pushed me to try new foods, and he's a great and honest guinea pig. Who knew that baby bok choy sauteed in garlic and fresh ginger would become one of my favorite vegetables? Bubie, for one,but that's besides the point.

Sometimes simple things like a home picnic, a beer with a sandwich, or believing someone when they tell you that bok choy will be good are all that matters.

Three Simple Pleasures Paired With Three Simply Guilty Pleasures
Watching Lost and watching Lost on DVD
Morning coffee and calling in sick while drinking morning coffee
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and reading Us Magazine while eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Cheese Is Good

2009-07-01T18:47:00.001-04:00

I love cheese in a way that is not normal.
Let's just say that if you and a pound of fresh, soft mozzarella were going into the ring for a few rounds, or if it cut you off on the highway, or the mozarella took your seat on the subway...I would side with the cheese.
We have a passionate, intense and fiercely loyal relationship.

I'm not picky or snobbish about it, either. All cheese is equally lovable. Not many will admit it, but a Kraft single is very comforting after a bad day at the office.

My boyfriend, (who will be referred to as AnonyMouse), was the first person to acknowledge this relationship. One Saturday night a few summers ago, we ended up at a great place near us called The Bar at Etats Unis. We ordered a bottle of white, and perused the menu. AnonyMouse looked up at me and simply said: "The cheese plate sounds good." This sentence changed our lives.

We learned that night, in that wonderful little restaurant why wine is paired with food. I can't tell you the names of the cheeses or even what the wine was, but we still speak of that meal in hushed tones and with reverence.

As the great Armenian proverb goes:
Bread and cheese, eat and dance
Do it.

My Three Favorite Cheeses Paired With Three Great Dance Songs

Gruyere and Ray Of Light
Fresh Mozzarella and You Dropped a Bomb on Me
Chevre and Scarlet Begonias

My Love of Cooking Shows...It's Complicated

2009-06-27T14:59:00.000-04:00

I am a cooking show addict.
I'm neither proud nor ashamed. It's just a fact.

I started young. The Galloping Gourmet and The French Chef are my earliest TV food memories. I loved watching Graham Kerr dance wildly around his kitchen and Julia Child manhandle various cuts of meat.

They were the gateway shows.

The Frugal Gourmet, Biba's Italian Kitchen, Ciao Italia!, Yan Can Cook, Justin Wilson, Nathalie Dupree, Jaques Pepin and the seemingly endless episodes of Cooking At The Academy have all left their mark on me.

A young cooking show viewer is wild, unpredictable, care free. You sample anything as long as it has a host and a mixing bowl. No regrets.

Today it's a little different. Today we have The Food Network. The Food Network has an element of danger not found in cooking shows from back in the day. It's a potent mix of mind-numbing challenges, EVOO, and Ina Garten. Some days you're flying high on the love of Ina and Jeffrey and then you crash after thinking you can handle Big Daddy's House.

I'm a bit more discerning with my viewing now. I show restraint with the competition shows, I sneak a little Rachael Ray and Sandra Lee in for kicks, and I have added the hilarious and talented Anne Burrell to my DVR. What can I say? My palate has evolved.

The hours I have spent watching these shows could rival the dollars some spend on the more unsavory vices. So yeah, I'm an addict. An addict with a freakin' awesome culinary repertoire.

My Top Five Current Cooking Shows Paired With My Top Five TV Shows From 1978

Barefoot Contessa and Laverne and Shirley
Top Chef Masters and Welcome Back Kotter
Secrets Of A Restaurant Chef and The Love Boat
Jaques Pepin's Fast Food My Way and Eight Is Enough
Chopped and Little House on the Prairie

Five Minutes...Five Ingredients

2009-06-21T15:13:00.000-04:00

Comedy and cooking make my endorphin levels rise.

When I was doing stand up, I loved the rush of creating and performing a new joke. I loved my pen. I loved my spiral joke notebook. I loved sitting in my big leather chair and writing the joke. But what I REALLY loved was telling the joke in front of a live audience. Good idea + Good timing + a two drink minimum = Comedy magic.

I get that same rush when I have an idea for a new recipe. I love shopping for the ingredients. I love chopping with my sweet Santoku or using my beloved food processor. Whisking together a great marinade. But the true rush is eating something you have just created that tastes exactly how you hoped it would. Even better? Experiencing a depth of flavor you didn't know was there.

Making strangers laugh is a beautiful thing.
Making good food for people you love is a really beautiful thing.

Five Comedians I Love Paired With Five Favorite Ingredients
George Carlin and shallots
Chris Rock and garlic
Ellen Degeneres and paprika
Dave Attell and fruity olive oil
Louis CK and kosher salt

The Little Kitchen Mouse Roars.

2009-06-20T18:32:00.000-04:00

My two basic needs are good food and laughter.

I was the kid who watched Julia Child hack up a chicken on Channel 13 on Saturday morning, then watch Dan Aykroyd's Julia Child "cut the dickens" out of her finger on Saturday Night.

My parents encouraged this. I grew up in a family of gifted cooks and gifted story tellers.

Today's post is a more or less awkward, getting to know you, what the hell am I doing kind of free for all, so I'm going to end it with a few things about me.

Three Things That Make Me Laugh, Paired With Three Comfort Foods I Love

Babies learning to walk and a cheeseburger
Robert Downey Jr. In Tropic Thunder and warm chocolate chip cookies
Dom DeLuise and mashed potatoes

I'm hoping you find my kitchen deliciously funny.